I mean, these two days could have been worse.
Today was a calm day, it was used for a lot of thinking, and a lot of searching for the answers I needed. The Lord helps the helpless and heals the broken. There is a few people I need to tell you about.
My God and Savior. He is a jealous God, but a kind one as well. He has pushed and pulled me through life, and has helped me to this point. It’s crazy to see where I was, and where I am now. I am super thankful he loves me so much, even when I don’t deserve it.
So a girl named Laura came into my life a little whiled back, it it really hasn’t been the same, since then, I have fallen for her, chased after her heart, and began to date her. She is really wonderful, and I really enjoy talking to her, and spending time with her. It’s a funny story, but she is amazing. We fall, but we lift each other up, and I think that’s wonderful. I am so attract to her, and love her person. She is all together beautiful.
My brother Preston. He is the main reason for my relationship with Christ, and a big reason why I am still alive. His family took me in and has treated me like “one of the boys” for the past two and a half years, and it is truly something that has changed my life. He is my best friend, and I thank the Lord I was blessed with his friendship.
My momma. She passed away March 14th, 2009. I was fourteen. No one got to meet her, and that makes me really sad. She shaped me to be the Man I am, and the man I hope to be in the relationship I have with Laura. She taught me how to treat a lady, and how make sure you are protecting her, and what to look for, and how you never settle. For anything, Her name was Alma, which means soul in Spanish. She had the most beautiful soul, and I cannot wait for the day that I get to hug here again, and say thank you momma for teaching me how to be a man, and teaching me how to love like christ did. She was the best example any kid can ask for, and i hope when i marry, my wife will have one of your skills. I hope i can love my children and impact their lives as much as you did mine. I cannot express how sad it makes me that I have to go the rest of my life not hearing you, or having you to lean on when I just can’t handle things anymore. I am so envious of everyone who can, and it upsets me so much when people take their moms for granted. Be thankful some of us aren’t so lucky.
Right now in my life, these are the most influential people. Two of them are in heaven, but still shape my life everyday, and two are here with me on Earth. Sharpening me and making me want to be the best man I can be.
"Your body may be gone, I’m gonna carry you in, in my head, in my heart, in my soul. And maybe we’ll get lucky and we’ll both live again. Well I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. Don’t think so."
I wish my mom was here. I don’t know what I’m doing half the time, but I feel like I’m still okay because of Christ and His blessing and His work in my life. I felt cared for today for the first time since I my mom passed away, and it was strange. I felt as if I wasn’t here I’d be missed, and that was super weird. I’m happier now than I’ve been in quite a while, and I’m super thankful. Life is so good, and I am blessed with a girlfriend who loves Christ more than she will ever care for me, and I love it. I don’t have much of a family life, but the Eastwoods have shown me Christ love and I am so thankful for allowing me to stay with them for so long, and accepting me as a memeber of there family, it is crazy how much love they have. I I look forward so much to the next few weeks, and I am hopeful it won’t change.
I’m happy because I’ve figured out I’m no one, trying to tell everyone, about the one who saved me.
Sometimes a fat run, along with a beautiful girlfriend to talk to, and a best friend that is pretty much a brother make it a great day.
Life is good, life is good indeed.
Thankful for the ability to be completely honest.
Thankful for a Lord and Savior that accepts me for the broken mess I am.
Thankful for the people placed in my life.
Thankful for His word.
[The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.- John 10:10.]
"There are demons inside my head, I always let them win, I have to learn to suffocate them." - "Coming down is calming down" -Underoath.